KIDS!
7 Reasons Not To Mess With A Child
A little girl was talking to her teacher about
whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a
whale to swallow a
human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a
whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could
not swallow a
human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, When I get to heaven I will
ask Jonah.
The teacher asked, What if Jonah went to hell
The little girl replied, Then you ask him.
------------------------
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom
of children while
they were drawing. She would occasionally walk
around to see each child's
work.
As she got to one little girl who was working
diligently, she asked
what the drawing was.
The girl replied, I'm drawing God.
The teacher paused and said, But no one knows what
God looks like.
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
drawing, the girl
replied, They will in a minute.
---------------------
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her
five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to honour thy
Father and thy Mother,
she asked, Is there a commandment that teaches us
how to treat our brothers
and sisters
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of
a family)
answered, Thou shall not kill.
---------------------
This one reminds me of my own elder son. I told him to find a particular strand of white hair on my head. He couldn't. Then he asked me, "You have white hair?" I saw it so of course I told him yes. Then he continued "So you are old already?" Not the best type of questions you want to be asked but "yes" was what I could say. And he asked again. "Does that mean you are going to die??!!!" OMG! Kids nowadays. Dunno where he got this idea that old = die.
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her
mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her
mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on
her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom
Her mother replied, Well, every time that you do
something wrong and
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.
The little girl thought about this revelation for a
while and then
said, Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are
white
---------------------
The children had all been photographed, and the
teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group
picture.
Just think how nice it will be to look at it when
you are all grown up
and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or
'That's Michael, He's a
doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, And
there's the
teacher,
She's dead.
---------------------
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of
the blood. Trying
to make the matter clearer, she said, Now, class,
if I stood on my head,
the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I
would turn red in the
face..
Yes, the class said.
Then why is it that while I am standing upright in
the ordinary
position the blood doesn't run into my feet
A little fellow shouted,
Cause your feet ain't empty.
---------------------
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a
Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a
large pile of apples. The
nun
made a note, and posted on the apple tray
Take only ONE. God is watching.
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other
end of the table was
a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, Take all you want. God
is watching the
apples.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about
whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a
whale to swallow a
human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a
whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could
not swallow a
human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, When I get to heaven I will
ask Jonah.
The teacher asked, What if Jonah went to hell
The little girl replied, Then you ask him.
------------------------
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom
of children while
they were drawing. She would occasionally walk
around to see each child's
work.
As she got to one little girl who was working
diligently, she asked
what the drawing was.
The girl replied, I'm drawing God.
The teacher paused and said, But no one knows what
God looks like.
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
drawing, the girl
replied, They will in a minute.
---------------------
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her
five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to honour thy
Father and thy Mother,
she asked, Is there a commandment that teaches us
how to treat our brothers
and sisters
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of
a family)
answered, Thou shall not kill.
---------------------
This one reminds me of my own elder son. I told him to find a particular strand of white hair on my head. He couldn't. Then he asked me, "You have white hair?" I saw it so of course I told him yes. Then he continued "So you are old already?" Not the best type of questions you want to be asked but "yes" was what I could say. And he asked again. "Does that mean you are going to die??!!!" OMG! Kids nowadays. Dunno where he got this idea that old = die.
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her
mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her
mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on
her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom
Her mother replied, Well, every time that you do
something wrong and
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.
The little girl thought about this revelation for a
while and then
said, Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are
white
---------------------
The children had all been photographed, and the
teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group
picture.
Just think how nice it will be to look at it when
you are all grown up
and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or
'That's Michael, He's a
doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, And
there's the
teacher,
She's dead.
---------------------
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of
the blood. Trying
to make the matter clearer, she said, Now, class,
if I stood on my head,
the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I
would turn red in the
face..
Yes, the class said.
Then why is it that while I am standing upright in
the ordinary
position the blood doesn't run into my feet
A little fellow shouted,
Cause your feet ain't empty.
---------------------
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a
Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a
large pile of apples. The
nun
made a note, and posted on the apple tray
Take only ONE. God is watching.
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other
end of the table was
a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, Take all you want. God
is watching the
apples.
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